Counselling is often referred to as a ‘talking therapy”, but it encompasses much more than just conversation. At the heart of successful counselling is the development, right from our first few counselling sessions together, of a trusting and collaborative relationship between us: you, the client, and me, the counsellor. This unique partnership is centred on you and your journey, with the goal of working together for your benefit.
Beginning counselling
My role is to help establish and nurture this relationship, creating an environment where you feel safe, understood, and accepted. I aim to create a space where you can speak freely about whatever is on your mind. This is a safety that we may not have found often before and sometimes it can take some getting used to. Often people find that just the experience of feeling welcome and accepted in itself, can start to be healing. But that is not all that can happen.
In the middle
My experience is that as you begin to settle into the counselling relationship it becomes possible to explore, more deeply, how you think and feel about things. We will continue to talk together but there will always be a possibility to work more creatively. You might want to explore using art, objects and the space in my room to help you learn about yourself. I can support you to do this and no artist ability is needed! But it will always be your choice and like anything I offer you in sessions is entirely optional. As we continue to work together it often becomes possible to discover more about what is happening both within your inner world and in the situations and contexts you live in. Emotions can be felt, expressed and understood. Patterns and beliefs which have been around, often for a long time, can be uncovered, re-evaluated and often can become more flexible and helpful for day to day living. New understanding about situations can develop and lead to more creative ways of living and managing the challenges that life brings.
Past experiences, traumas and everyday stress impact our bodies in powerful ways and we often carry very physical patterns that reflect this, without realising. That’s why it can also be helpful during the middle of counselling to learn about the body and the nervous system, to understand how they respond under stress and as a result of trauma. I can also offer training in body based tools such as Neuro Resilience Training (NRT) and Psychomotor Skills from Relational Trauma Therapy methodology that I have added into my work after taking advantage of good quality training over the past years. These are very simple and gentle ways of working either with the joints in the body (NRE) or with the muscle systems ( Psychomotor Skills). They can help in many ways including, building an ability to feel anchored in being present in here and now reality and less pulled about by thoughts and feelings from the past or in anticipation of the future. Like with creative ways to work, these are on offer but it is always your choice how much you use them.
Towards the ending of counselling
Whatever brings you to see me, counselling is not about being told what to do or being “fixed” by someone else. Instead, looking back, it often feels like a journey of self-discovery and a process of change that unfolds naturally alongside our work together. It can be deeply satisfying. But not all things can be sorted – sometimes things have happened in life that cannot be undone and there are painful memories and scars. Counselling cannot make these go away but can promote a process of recovery and help with finding ways to live meaningfully in the face of the past. It can help us live more satisfying lives with more choices and freedom to be ourselves. Whatever your circumstances or the challenges you face the aim is always for you to find a more satisfying, empowered and whole way of living that works for you. Whether you use counselling short term to address something specific or stay for longer, we will come to a point where we feel the work is done – that you have accomplished what you wanted to. After spending a little while reviewing our journey together and what you have gained, then it is time to say our goodbyes.